What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
