No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
