That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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