He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
