i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize