everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
