yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
3 2 1 whiskey
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
