If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
