And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
