i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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