There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
