I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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