quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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