I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
