Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
