We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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