Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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