your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
