just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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