glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
