butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
