TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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