So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
