A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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