so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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