..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
