Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All the doctor said was why
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
