you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
