I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
