That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize