friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
