I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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