So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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