so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
