Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
