you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
