Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
