oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
