Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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