I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
