names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The struggles of a small town man whore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize