everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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