remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
