He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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