put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
