just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
