whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
