How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
