Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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