man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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