ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
