Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
