Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize