You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
