There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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