That's intense
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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