Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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