Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
