I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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