I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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