kristin has been a bad kristin
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
