Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
