so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
