somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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